Crazy as a Loom

Saturday, December 28, 2013

Some thoughts and a GIVEAWAY.

I am not sure what is going on, but I am not inspired much to blog.  That's the simple and unvarnished truth.
It could be that I am not feeling so well, thanks to the Alleve I was prescribed after my last surgery.
I stopped it after a month, but I now have severe spontaneous reflux to the level of my clavicle......so the report said.  My daughter's theory is that if it did such a job on my stomach, maybe it simultaneously did a job on the bone growth in my head.



I got myself off Prilosec back in 2010, and now it looks like I will be taking it, or something like it, again.  Disturbing.  I am hoping this time to take it only to 'heal' my stomach, and not as a long term solution.
It is just one more thing on the list of things I must learn to deal with.  And I know that there is always someone with a worse scenario to deal with than mine.  I would never have imagined that I would have all these medical issues in my 60's...........I saw myself as very healthy and active, and figured I was good for a lot longer than that.  Ha!   Imagine that.
Life is so full of surprises.


It has been said, not to my face, but in an email, that I have been "obsessed" with the monster headache.  While that comment hurt me more than I can say, it also made me angry.
I wanted to reply that it is impossible to ignore a metal stake in the middle of your forehead.
For TWO YEARS +.  No matter how hard I have tried to live my life around it, to be productive and engaged, there is no way I could have ignored that.  I have acted "as if" many, many many days...too many to remember.....just because I didn't want to give in and be an invalid.  I have done the best that I could come up with.  Some days weren't so hard, others were a real struggle.

Ack.
I am letting that go.  I have to.



We are getting ready to trek south to warmer climates, and I can't wait.  We are driving, because I would not ever put Roy in the belly of an airplane.  And I wouldn't go without him.
Roy and I  are planning on walking and walking and walking in glorious sunshine.  And I am hoping that my head likes the better weather.

My kids are all coming to spend time in the sun with us, and that will make it the best vacay ever.

But first, while I am still in the frigid northeast, I think we need to have a New Year's giveaway.

"What will it be, Mimi?"


 It will be a cotton dish towel, I just took a bunch off the AVL.  You can pick any one you want off my web site.



All you have to do is comment with one thing that you have learned in 2013, and one thing you want to do in 2014.  Easy right?
I will draw the winner on New Year's Day.

For me???
1. In 2013,  I have learned that while sometimes I feel overwhelmed, I can ALWAYS do one day at a time.
2.  In 2014, I am going to make a bucket list for the year, and then I am going to mark it off as I do the things I want to do.  I am not going to let my headache stop me.


Sounds good, Mimi.





61 comments:

TexWisGirl said...

your grand girl is too cute. and no one can judge your pain - physical or emotional. just go enjoy some sun. :)

Theresa said...

Well, I for one am glad you got that out about the blogging. I'm surprised you haven't taken more of a break from it. When it becomes duty more than pleasure it's time to dump that sucker out of the wagon and lighten the load! You got all sorts of things to tuck in there that are much more fun for you right now. Baby Dale, Big Baby Roy, a vacay and family. That's a pretty full wagon! What did I learn in 2013? Even a little garden is both seductive and time consuming. Hopes for 2014, well some proficiency on the new AVL loom and to win a lovely handwoven towel, of course! :)

claudia said...

I'm so sorry there are stupid people out there who can't help their comments! I'm sorry, did I write that out loud?
What I learned in 2013 is that there is never enough time to do everything, so do the important things...Tell your family you love them, show your family you love them, give a lonely person some of your time and say thank you! Be grateful...all that creates happiness.
What I plan on doing in 2014 is let my inner creative self out. The prison doors are open and it is time to just live more creatively!
Have a wonderful vacation! I am glad to hear that you are going to warmer climes. It's been like spring out here in California and I sure am loving it! (Although, I'd really like it better if we were getting into a drought era!)

Gayle said...

Love that you are heading for the warmth and RoyBoy will get to enjoy, too.

In '13 I relearned that it is perfectly fine to say NO.

In '14 I am going to travel more before I no longer can!

Shine said...

What a darling girl that grand daughter is! So sorry for the mean people out there...or perhaps just clueless to others feelings. Please enjoy the south...although, it is a wee bit chilly down here today....supposed to be better tomorrow :)
1. In 2013,I learned I am MUCH stronger than I thought I was.
2. In 2014, I pray for peace, and happiness.....every thing else would be fluff.
xoxo Shine
PS.....Hope you feel better soon <3

Linda D said...

I learned to weave in 2013! 2014? One day at a time, more weaving, less smoking, more living.
The very best to you. And you are allowed to complain all you want about your headache, I fear after 2 years I would be in a padded cell.

Andrea Scamehorn said...

What I learned in 2013 is that I can make my own "weather" where ever I may be and for 2014 I am going to weave a lot and enjoy, not worry, about my kids. Thanks for asking and having a giveaway about it! Happy New Year Hilary, you will have a great 2014…..

Faith Miller said...

I've been down and out for 9 days with vertigo, and if anyone ever said anything like that to me I'd feel like punching them. And I realize it's just been 9 days for me-not TWO years with an awful headache.
2013- I learned that I need to let go of being in control.
2014- I want to have more fun- more walks on a beach, more snuggles with my pup and husband (whoops, wrong order), and just more joy when doing everyday things.

Fmillertime@hotmail.com

Hilary said...

I do indeed know how much that remark hurt you. Keep in mind how those destructive and cruel thoughts are fueled.
What I learned in 2013 is that you just never know what path your life is going to take. It can turn on a dime.

My hope for 2014 is to move forward successfully and not spend too much time looking back.

Hilary said...

Oh and how could I forget to add how absolutely gorgeous Dale is. I think she is probably the cutest baby girl ever. Such an adorable, inquisitive face.. and it's like she has her own private joke going on. I'm so glad your family will join you for at least part of your time away.

Denise at Autumn Sky said...

Oh I just love that Baby Dale. She is so darn cute and her outfit just looks so snuggly. I'm so happy for you that you're getting away to someplace warm. I hope you'll share a few photos with us :-)
I learned in 2013 that you really have to let things play out in the way they were meant to. Trying to force them or rush them or wish them just doesn't work. In 2014? I'm going to New York City! And then going to meet up with my sister somewhere.

SD Sue said...

You are a brave woman, facing that headache day after day for two plus years. You are my heroine! I learned in 2013 that life can suck but I can always get beyond the sucky part with Jesus' help. In 2014 I will live my life without worrying about what others think about me or how I do things. oh yeah and WEAVE MORE!

SD Sue said...

You are a brave woman, facing that headache day after day for two plus years. You are my heroine! I learned in 2013 that life can suck but I can always get beyond the sucky part with Jesus' help. In 2014 I will live my life without worrying about what others think about me or how I do things. oh yeah and WEAVE MORE!

Vicky said...

Sometimes surrendering to what is, is the only way to get through. I marvel at how WELL you have done for so long!! I learned in 2013 to lean in more, instead of shrinking back as I am inclined to do. 2014 I hope to become who I am meant to be.

So glad you are going somewhere warm!! Please soak some in some sunshine for me!

Deb said...

I think you do just fine with your blog when you are dealing with other more important things. I just enjoy reading your posts. Baby Dale...now isn't that the cutest little face? 2013, as disappointing as it was, has taught me patience. What I plan for 2014 is to take better care of ME as I am one who forgets that I am the only one in control of my health and happiness. Then I am better to care for those I love. I am looking forward to your posts when you return from a well-deserved time in the sun. Hugs and Happy New Year to you, dear Hilary. Deb

Cami said...

You are inspiring to me. I'm thankful for your blog!

I learned that letting my son raise goats was as good for me as it was for him!

I would like to sew that Christmas wall hanging that has trees on it. I've had the pattern for a while!

Enjoy your family and the vacay!

Diane Cayton-Hakey said...

Oh, that darling Baby Dale!!! Keep her photos coming, one on a warm beach perhaps, under a palm tree with an ocean breeze.

MaryB said...

you know, my husband read in a reputable source that once you start taking acid reflux medicine, you cant ever get off of it because it actually changes something in your body such that it wont ever work right again. needless to say, he was quite dismayed. he's on the stuff too.

majorasue said...

In 2013, I learned that it's ok to accept help when offered, even for things that I am capable of doing for myself.

In 2014, I am going to make art every week, and accept that some (of, probably most) of it won't be great.

Shame on the person who said you were too focused on that rotten old headache! You have been incredibly stoic about the damned thing! Enjoy your vacation.

candace said...

1. As a teenager I had a debilitating headache everyday…woke up with it, went to bed with it. Never determined the cause and it gradually improved as I aged…It absolutely ran my life, scared the hell out of me, and caused me to feel disconnected from friends and life in general…It was hell. It takes much courage and strength to live with that kind of pain. I have admired your spirit throughout your ordeal.
2. Are you taking probiotics? After being on advil for 3 years for a back injury I too developed GERD. The thing that has helped the most is probiotics and I do not take the proton pump inhibitors.
3. In 2013 I learned to slow down my stress response to work. In 2014 I want to reclaim my hiking life….be outdoors more.

mray said...

Hurtful & abusive comments come from unfeeling people. I learned in 2013 to listen to myself, how to say no, and how to volunteer my time where I want to be. I accepted the challenge of retirement at 70 after surviving cancer. In 2014 I will welcome each day with a positive thought & prayers. Let go & enjoy the sunshine. Happy vacation!

cb said...

First, your granddaughter is so sweet and cute. Second, I wish I had the drive and energy you have, which is more than me without a headache.
Now, what I've learned in 2013 is that my faith and trust in God has not been as strong as I wanted it to be. I still wanted to "control" situations, which made the Year 2013 the worst in my life so far.
In 2014, I am determined to completely trust God, who is in control,even if it doesn't feel good inside at that moment. I shall wait upon Him for my blessings, and seek to recognize those blessings, rather than indulge self pity.

Lona said...

In 2013 I relearned that I cannot control what other people do, but that I can control how I react. Most of the time. If I try.

In 2014 I plan to sit myself down and make a plan for LIVING life and not just existing. Too long I have been at everyone else's beck and call, and it is time for me to dream my own dreams again.

I am sorry about your reflux, your lack of bloggy mojo, and that darn headache. Would you try eating ginger before each meal? I have heard it helps with reflux. And drinking water between meals, instead of with them. Enjoy the sun and the walks!

Peg Cherre said...

People! What do they think they're doing when they say things like that? The answer - they don't think. We're all guilty of this at times, so just let it go.

2013 - I learned that making a monthly trip to visit with my kids and grand was a wonderful thing to do, making both them and me happy.

2014 - I want to continue those monthly trips, do lots more getting rid of all the 'stuff' in my house, and get that much closer to (mentally, physically, and financially) to selling this place and moving closer to those kids.

messymimi said...

A person who hasn't suffered your head pain shouldn't judge. Happy New Year, and thank you for sharing the beautiful pics of your granddaughter!

Casey said...

In 2013 I learned that sometimes you spend years dreading seeing certain people. What's going to happen? What terrible thing are they going to say? What further hurt can they inflict. Then you see them and . . . and nothing! Hey, it didn't hurt. It didn't matter. They don't matter.

In 2014, I'm going to remember this, and take it into all aspects of my life. I honestly don't think I'm any stronger than I thought I was, I just think they matter a whole lot less than I thought!

PS, happy holidays to you and to all your readers. Has anyone ever told you you should put your blogs into a book? Your writing is so lovely and lyrical.

BlueRidge Boomer said...

In 2013 i learned that worrying is for the birds....God is in control..
In 2014 i plan to live one day at a time and enjoy it fully...
Enjoy your time in the sun...!!

Lorraine said...

Expressing our vulnerabilities is the greatest act of courage (check out Brene Brown if you don't believe me!), and it's why I keep returning to your blog. Whether it be a weaving flaw, heartache or headache, we are all imperfect and we live imperfect lives - through our own eyes or as seen/judged by others. I admire your courage and your willingness to share your struggles - your pain shared, lightens my own. Thank you for that.
2013 was a very imperfect year for me, but one which taught me a few important lessons. I have learned the importance of setting limits as far as the people and the "human" institutions I choose (or not), to spend my time, energy and money on. I also learned that the sedentary life, for one who was once so active, is not good for me; that negativity often spawns negativity; and that I (and others), are seriously disconnected from nature...even here on this farm.
In 2014 I hope to continue to loose weight and find emotional balance; improve my relationships; read one book per month; have greater courage in my own creative endeavours...and, teach my new dog how not to bark!
Happy New Year Hilary! May it be healthier and as near to perfect as you can imagine!

PS Baby Dale is simply the most photogenic child I have ever seen. Simply beautiful!

NancyG said...

2014 ... Go, go, go...keep the mind and body moving.
Nancyg22368@hotmail.com

Devon said...

That is the sweetest little baby!!!! Lucky Mimi!!

It is not surprising that you are consumed by something that is all consuming... a no brainer right? The lesson of compassion is not always innate. I cannot imagine having to endure HH and 3 brain surgeries!

I love your dishtowels! What I have learned in 2013 is that my children (14 & 17) need me to shift my parenting from saying what they need to do all the time to asking questions and listening more!

In 2014 I spend more time nurturing friendships!

KAM said...

May your time in warmer climes bring a level of peace to your journey.
2013 was a year of much loss of friends and my lesson has been that time has a door that shuts and we do not know when that will be.
My 2014 will be a year where I begin each day with writing about the gift of that day...appreciating each day of life given to me.
I love your towels; memories of my grandmother weaving all of the towels in our home on her 16 harness loom.

Restless Knitter said...

I'm just shocked that someone would say that to you. You've handled HH much better than I, and most people I know, would.

Have a wonderful vacation!

Pat Mofjeld said...

I, too, have learned to take one day at a time because you never know what is coming in the future. We lost a close friend in 2013 and now are in the midst of losing our 7-year-old schnauzer "child" to lymphosarcoma. I am a weaver, too, but it has been several years now since I've sat at the loom. My New Year's Resolution is to get back to weaving and spinning--spend more time doing what I love doing--and less time sitting paralyzed with the bad things going on around me...Hillary, have a wonderful time in the sun. I wish I could join you...Pat Mofjeld npmofjeld@comcast.net

Thistle Rose Weaving said...

Hilary please ignore the uncaring person who feels they can judge you. As they say, I've got your back.

In 2013 I learned to never say never - things have a way of working themselves out and bring us much joy in the process.

2014, I really want to curb my internet addiction - yep I am addicted to reading blogs, etc on the internet - need to return to my passion - weaving. Want to Focus myself and learn a few new things about weaving and what I can do with all the ideas I dream about.

I wish you and Roy Boy many miles of sunshiny warm walks. Enjoy yourself Hilary you certainly deserve it.

Karen said...

Shame on the person who threw that thoughtless comment at you. I'd like that person to walk in your shoes for five days and tell us she/he can ignore it, let alone 2 freak'n years. How very insensitive, too.

I learned in 2013 that I don't give a damn what others think of me... that's their business. I am pleased with what I have become and if I dare even say it, maybe even proud. I am perfectly OK as is, and I really LIKE me. I'm the kind of person I'd like to have as a friend. Sound conceted? That's OK.. I've been down on myself for far too long.

In 2014 I hope to continue on the journey of animal rescue and maybe even broaden those horizons. Better health is my goal as well...

And I sure hope you send us a pic of your Florida adventures now and again :-)



rosek1870 said...

First let me say that I think you have dealt with all this very courageously. I am sure I would not have done as well and you have inspired many of us to put one foot in front of the other each day. I more than understand your need to take a blogging break. Please enjoy your trip and hopefully comeback renewed.
In 2013 I have learned to just be me. My hair is now grey and I love who I have grown to be.
In 2014 I plan on d-cluttering my life. I have saved so many things because they were my mom's and I couldn't part with any of it that some parts of my house look more like hers then mine. I sill keep what I like, box up what my girls like and let the rest go.

I pray that 2014 is good to you.
Hugs,
Rose

Country Girl said...

That child is absolutely adorable. I cannot believe someone had the gall to say that you have been obsessed with your headache. And hey, it's your blog. You can talk about what you want.

In 2013, I learned what it felt like to watch someone you love die.
In 2014, I want to begin to heal from that.

Suzanne said...

I hope you have a wonderful vacation. You are one strong woman to deal daily with a headache I would have used a gun if had to deal with your head.

Suzanne said...

I hope you have a wonderful vacation. You are one strong woman to deal daily with a headache I would have used a gun if had to deal with your head.

Janet said...

2013....what I learned followed the pain of the loss of my dad in 2012. After months of grief, I realize I feel him with me, always. The spirit of his love is a voice or a feeling I have all the time. I learned to love the voice of his spirit and want to be sure to leave a voice for my children.

2014.... What I want..is to take better care of me.

Thanks for the challenge of thought, Hillary.

Janet

Donna said...

You are one amazing lady to share your journey with us! I am sorry for your pain and for the idiot that said that to you.
In 2013, I have been reminded to make time for my husband and myself.
In 2014, I plan to get outside more and keep the loom projects rolling. Enjoy the warmer weather!
-20 degrees here tonight!

Donna said...

You are one amazing lady to share your journey with us! I am sorry for your pain and for the idiot that said that to you.
In 2013, I have been reminded to make time for my husband and myself.
In 2014, I plan to get outside more and keep the loom projects rolling. Enjoy the warmer weather!
-20 degrees here tonight!

MarthaVA said...

So glad you're taking a vacation! You deserve it. Enjoy the sun and warmth, and the warm, sunny walks with Roy. Hug that grand girl. She has soulful eyes.
I don't know what I learned in 2013, but I hope to improve my business, my spinning, and my fibe dyeing, and enjoy it all.
I can totally understand that comment hurting you, but remember, no one can understand what you are living with. Let it go, know you have many people who love to read your blog, who love you, who admire you, and who pray that you get rid of the damned headache, sooner rather than later.
(((Hugs))))
Martha

MegWeaves said...

2013: if I knew how much I would miss my dad after he passed, I would have been kinder to him. Even though I tried my best, it was never going to be enough. 2014: I need to find peace within myself, to be grounded, to have a 0,0 point not dependent on factors outside myself.

Sarah Hamlin said...


In 2013 I learned that I am way too hard on myself. In 2014 I hope to treat myself better.

dropstitchknitter said...

Please don't let what one person said in a cowardly email affect you. You've done much harder things that letting that go. I read your blog all the time, rarely comment but I wanted you to know what a courageous, awe-inspiring, generous person I think you are. You've battled this thing with ferocity, I don't know many people who have that much. To not share it with others would be our loss, there is much to learn from it.

I plan to take better care in 2014 - of myself, of my family and friends. 2013 has taught me there is too much to appreciate to take any of it for granted. Happy New Year - enjoy your time in the sun and I look forward to reading more of your journey - how ever much you blog.

dropstitchknitter said...

Please don't let what one person said in a cowardly email affect you. You've done much harder things that letting that go. I read your blog all the time, rarely comment but I wanted you to know what a courageous, awe-inspiring, generous person I think you are. You've battled this thing with ferocity, I don't know many people who have that much. To not share it with others would be our loss, there is much to learn from it.

I plan to take better care in 2014 - of myself, of my family and friends. 2013 has taught me there is too much to appreciate to take any of it for granted. Happy New Year - enjoy your time in the sun and I look forward to reading more of your journey - how ever much you blog.

Daryl said...

i hope 2014 brings you relief but if it doesnt you can feel free to 'obsess' as much as you please .. l have very big ears and broad shoulders ...

Susan Harvey said...

Hi Hilary,
As you know, we have had quite a year and what I learned in 2013 is that your continued good health is the best gift of all. (But in the mean time its one foot in front of the other until you reach a goal)

2014 is a clean slate and while health issues will follow us over the line, we hope to find more sunshine, more good times, more laughter, more of what makes us happy. I hope that my knee surgery later this spring will allow me to continue to weave as that's my passion.

Thanks for your words and sharing... you have been a big help in this household more than you know.... or maybe you do!

Hugs, Susan and Bruce

Susan said...

I learned in 2013 that friends are the most important thing in my life. 2014? Spend more time on creative pursuits. Too much work and not enough beauty.

I'm sorry for the idiots who feel the need to comment on things of which they know not. I cannot imagine having constant pain - especially head pain - and having to just 'get on' with life. I think your attitude and fortitude is amazing. Good for you - warm climes are just what you need (and more of that completely adorable baby!)

Hartwood Roses said...

Baby Dale is getting bigger!! What beautiful eyes she has!

You've gone and forced me to think, with your challenge ... let's see ...

in 2013, I learned that I can say no to things without having to justify my answer. My time is my own, and I only have to share it with people doing things that I want to do ... unless it's laundry, and I have to do that whether I want to or not.

For 2014 I am planning to continue my quest to declutter and simplify. Made good progress in 2013, and I'm on a roll.

Sparkly Jules said...

In 2013 I learned that much of life is beyond my control. Anything can happen at any time to anyone.

For 2014 I plan to take positive steps to improve my health and hope, hope that it helps and I feel better and can embrace life more fully.

Best to you and prayers for your head pain.

Jules

Sparkly Jules said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sue Brown said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sue Brown said...

2013-
I learned you can come home again & it can be WONDERFUL...even Marvelous!
2014-I am looking forward to tackling more complex weave structures!

Wiebke T said...

liebe hilary..you are a so wounderful woman!!

ich fühle sehr mit dir..und keine hat das Recht dich zu kritisieren.

ich wünsche dir weiterhin soviel Mut und Stärke,und doch
sei mutlos und traurig, wenn es zu viel wird..alles ist in Ordnung.Das entlastet.
Du hast so wunderbare Babys .
best wishes wiebke

thotlady said...

Most adorable baby.

In 2013 I have learned that I need to work on tolerance.

I will work on that in 2014.

Cupcake Murphy said...

1. I've learned that if I stay true to myself good things happen.
2. In 2014 my full intention is to be authentic, brave and grateful for every little thing.

Karen Canada said...

I'm so sorry some coward tried to make you feel bad...I also have dealt with chronic pain for years, and I admire you so much for hanging in there come whatever. I hope you enjoy your vacay with the big puppy and hubby, and kids. In 2013 I learned the heartache of watching 3 of my best friends deal with cancer and that it's cure can sometimes be worse than the disease....In 2014 I hope to enjoy my dear friends and family, and be grateful for any and all moments with them. Sending you prayers and hugs!

Porch Days said...

So sorry that your health problems continue. Just keep plugging along. You are doing great and deserve some time in the warm sun. Have fun!

Thistle Cove Farm said...

Oh dearest...I am SO sorry for that angry, mean person's comment! It comes from a place of ignorance, dare I say stupidity?, and shows s/he knows NOTHING of what you've been through and cannot dredge up simple sympathy. Woe to her/him because she has cast undesirable bread upon the waters that will return.
A (very) few months after Dave died, someone commented on my blog that "wasn't it time you got over it? It's been X months." She is a self proclaimed witch (although it was fairly self evident, I thought) and would sleep next to her husband that night.
Take care of you; enjoy the warmth and heal some more.

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